Jumping in - feet first

My interview for the copywriter position went well today. I decided not to go into work and spend the rest of the day napping with my moose.

Looking for jobs sucks. Really REALLY bad.

What the hell. The doctor in this article needs to wake up and smell the blue,pink and purple java. Bisexuality is real.

Also I know lots of people don't like Tila cause she's making it look like bisexuals are free-for-all sluts. (Personally I just wish I could get that much action from hot women.)

I also started experimenting with girls (pretty explicitly) at a young age. I just thought it was interesting. I mean it could just be girls growing up. But I mean wanting to go to my girlfriends house so we could do nothing but that......

Read the article here.

Saw SpeedRacer with my delicate love moose on Saturday. I enjoyed it more than I thought it would. I’m calling it a “contagious” movie. OMG the guy who plays speed racer is so DAMN hot. I wanted to violate his little jailbait booty until he was a whimpering pile of man meat. Because, let’s face it there are just men who you want to sully so thoroughly they can never go back to their former selves. ::::Also Speed and Racer X slash!!::::: I won’t say much more because I don’t want to ruin the movie for my flist. But woahmygod. I think I’ll have to write something so there is some speed/X slash out there, hopefully starting a trend.

The moose and I will celebrate our 6 months anniversary on Sunday. I’m so excited. Every time we are together I just become more and more certain he is my soul mate. I would elaborate but I know it makes people woozy!

Naruto/Sasuke is my forever pairing. No matter what other pairs I adopt they will always have a special place in my heart. SPEAKING OF THAT. I finally broke down and started reading The Sound of Dreams which was recommended to me by

purplelev ages ago. I’m a stickler about reading fics that are A:not done and B:the length of a Bible – both fit SOD. But at Westfords Annual Town Meeting (during which I have to sit on sadistically uncomfortable wooden bleachers from 10 a.m. – 6 p.m.) I broke down and decided to give it a try. Let me just say, it is amazing. I’m going home and reading more tonight. The characterization is amazing and the plot is (most importantly) SO believable!

 

Also on the hooray! Gay pron front:
I have two co-workers who are constantly joking they are gay for each other. One is tall, thin, red hair, glasses geeky = adorable! The other is the most loveable Italian boy I’ve ever met brown eyes, medium build, dark hair, amazing smile! I love them both to pieces. It is just adorable to hear them going back and forth. “Oh darling can I have a bite of your desert?” “Oh of course sweetheart.” Both are straight as can be but it is just too wonderful.

The new xfiles movie title and release date has been revealed - "I Want to Believe."

Ok, I will admit the last seasons of the show sucked. But really this series was what I ate and breathed for 5 years of my life. Not to mention I still have a raging hardon for David.  It is my crack. FM & DS forever!! I'm breaking out my faded "The Truth Is Out There" t-shirt and starting to wait in line now.

Yes, I am still alive. But my life has been so busy I don't have time to post that much anymore.Also, honestly I'm not into the same fandoms I was when I started LJ. So a severe cleansing of my friends list is going to happen after this entry.

My life (now) in a nuttshell:

- Hate my job, I am looking for a new one but my actual job takes up so much of my time it is hard to search for another one. I'd love to just get something part time so I could look for a better full time job. That isn't panning out either (mostly because I refuse to go back to retail).
- Still with the utterly amazing Steve. He is the one. There isn't a doubt in my mind. Basically we both want to get married but we decided to wait until we actually have good jobs and live together. So, three years from now I'm thinking. Yes, we see each other every day. It may sound a little weird to some people considering how independent I am but, honestly, that's the way we both want it. We have been together since Nov. In all that time we've only gone 2 days without seeing each other. We are leaving for a week long trip to Cancun, Mexico on Saturday. I am so excited. I'm not even that bent out of shape that we don't have any plans yet. Honestly I don't care what we do on our vacation. All I care about is that we are together, relaxing. We both really deserve some R&R. My mom asked a few days ago "So are you going to be married when you get back from Cancun?" I know she was joking but at the same time she is very happy we both are together (my dad too AND my brother Chris LOVES Steve - says he's the best boyfriend I've ever had). Oh, I call him Moose and he calls me Kitten. We have this funny dialogue going that I really can't explain. Honestly, I think the concept is going to make us famous someday. It is just too funny.
- I'm thinking about starting up my own website that would sell and review adult books,toys and movies. I told my dad about it and he thinks it's a great idea. I know my *father* thinking his daughter selling sex toys is a great idea. Basically he really wants me to do my own thing because the way this world works the only way you'll ever get any sort of enjoyment out of your work is if you are doing your own thing. I agree. My moose wants to open his own pizza place and I support him 100%.

The only thing I like about my job is it's forcing me to write A LOT (5-7 500+ word articles) everyday. I don't seem to be getting any better with my writing though which is my MAJOR source of frustration with the job. I took it so I could become a better writer. Honestly, I think I made a poor decision by not going for a degree in writing in college. At least then I would have taken more classes to improve my writing both creatively and technically. After I get another job squared away I'm hopefully going to start taking weekend courses in writing. I'm really serious about this website and I want it to be the best it can be - that includes my reviews.

Well, obviously I haven't lost my nack for filling a page with nothing. I hope all on LJ are well.

So I didn't make the first cut for JET interviews but I'm really not upset. I was actually surprised at my own reaction. I still want to go to Japan, very much. But perhaps this just isn't the right time. I'm going to continue studying Japanese and, who knows, maybe I'll go there for business.

Anyways I'm looking for a new job now and I'm pretty excited about this search because I'm really broadening my horizons and looking at *anything* I think will be interesting.

Steve and I are still really happy (he is sleeping while I type this). It's kind of funny how people always say "oh you'll know when you find 'the one'." But it is so true. Steve is it for me. I don't want to do anything else in my life unless he is there to share it with me. We are going to open a pizza shop together in a few years and I am really excited about it.

^..^

Also * I get to go to YAOI-con again this year.

I'll also be attending Anime Boston 2008 with my love. I can't wait. :o)

Ok, so here's the deal. I wrote an article about a new exhibit opening up at a local museum. I have these quotes from this woman. But she decides to post lies on my story making me look stupid. I showed the evidence to my editor and he refuses to take the comment off. This is making me look really stupid. I'd appreciate it if some of you could flame this woman's comment. You can post as anonymous. I'd really appreciate it. This woman is completely false and is saying LIES. I know this sounds petty and stupid but my creditability is important to me and if my editor isn't going to support it I'm going to take matters into my own hands.

http://www.wickedlocal.com/westford/fun/entertainment/arts/x1925664715

click the link and go to my story.

Thanks and much love,
Kat

I am just so sad. This is awful. :o( I have so many good memories with his films. He really was going to be one of the great actors. I think that Dark Knight will prove that. My heart is breaking for Michelle and his children and my prayers are with them all.

For the last week I've been reading on all of the political candidate Obama, Romney, Clinton, Huckabee..... my head is just about to explode. So finally I made a decision:

http://www.ronpaul2008.com/

He is the only person out there who seems to stick by his beliefs and not flip-flop. I'm with him on a lot of issues - including boarder control. I don't like that he's pro-life but he is for making it a state issue not a federal issue (that means he's *not* out lawing it). Besides I don't think Roe vs Wayd could ever really be overturned. I like his views on small government and trying to give control of our lives back to the people. I've always described myself as a libertarian and I feel Ron Paul is the right candidate for me.

~~~~~

Ugh aside from all that. Not much new here. Still chugging away at Japan. I'm reading a daily Japanese newspaper every day to keep up with current events, getting Rosetta Stone and reading about Japanese etiquette and culture.

I have a boyfriend who is AMAZING. We actually were together 5 years ago. We met up at Walmart in October and exchanged numbers. The first time we hung out for 12 hours and were dating by the end of the night. It has been nothing but amazing since then. He respects me so much and makes me see I've never really been loved before. I'm so happy I'm with him right now and I couldn't ask for a better partner or best friend.

Best wishes to all of my friends for a wonderful 2008!!

So I'm seeing the most amazing person ever. Oddly enough we went out for about 11 months about 6 years ago. We went out last Sunday to catch up and just ended up falling for each other all over again. He is awesome. A supergeek, just like me. I just can't say how happy I am enough. 

I am the worst fucking live journal person ever. Sorry all.

Oh, the big news

I'm applying to teach English in Japan for a year!!!

I'm sending out my application on Monday (god willing) and will keep everyone posted about what is going on. Also I owe everyone a full account of Yaoi Con and pictures. I god. I am so behind on all of this. It is just retarded. My life is just so insane.

I have a facebook now BTW my name is Kat Writer.

*sigh* There is just too much to say. I'm happy and thrilled with my decision to apply to JET and really that's all that matters right now anyways.

*kisses & hugs to all*

Had a very intresting weekend. The party was awesome. Look for the pictures appearing on my myspace sometime this week. I may actually have a new profile picture! Today was laid back but fun. I got to watch my first pats game of the season and it was a great one. I'm looking foward to meeting someone on Tuesday but that's all I'll say.....

I've decided to try and get into the JET application program for this year. Which means I have exactly 1 month to get everything finished. The odd thing is, I think I can do it. I just have to keep my head down and really make it crunch time. I want this so bad I'm not going to let my inate ablity to procrastinate fuck this up for me. Not this time.

Things are exactly as they should be. I'm just going to keep paddling down the river of life and constantly live in wonder of where it takes me.

~*bed now*~

I don't know if it's for ratings or not. I really don't know how people are going to react to it. I want to have faith that Tila is telling the truth and she is in the same boat as I am. I don't know how this show is going to end up. But I will say that I'm thrilled it's bringing bisexuality into the mainstream conversation of America.

I will add that I'm not happy they may make it look like bisexual people have the pick of whoever they want to sleep with and are extremely promiscuous. From the bisexual ladies I know, that can't be further from the truth. I believe that bisexual people get their heart broken more often than straight people. Imagine falling for your best friend. Yeah, that's happened to me and it's destroyed some of my best friendships. Also imagine what it's like to want to be with more girls but have no idea where to go because you can be shunned by both the gay AND straight community.

I don't know how this show will go but rest assured I'll watch it and keep you updated on my feelings on it.

Just one quote from the show Tila said that I really loved
"It's not about being with a guy or with a girl. It's about being with who's right for me."

So Adam broke it off with me last night. It was nice he did it face to face this time. I went out to my car, composed myself (with a little help from mom via telephone) and went to dinner with him anyways. He said he still wants to be friends and I was really happy about that because we have an awesome time together. But about halfway through dinner I realized it wasn't simply our segway into friendship, it was his way of saying "goodbye." At the end of the night I told him to call me because I'm not going to force myself into his life with text and phone calls if he doesn't want me there. I don't know if I'll ever see him again.

He is a good person who would never hurt someone intentionally. I can't be mad or harbor any kind of bad feelings for him. I'll admit I saw this coming. So it's not as bad as if I was blindsided by it all. But there were moments between us where..*sigh*.. I can't shake the feeling something could have happened if he wasn't as emotionally closed off as he is. It doesn't make me mad, it makes me sad - for him. I hope he can find someone he can trust and love without holding back. I know it's hard. I open myself and get shut down all the time. But my feeling is if you hold back - how can you ever have something real? Because at some level the other person can feel you gaurding yourself and pulling away. How can you give your love to someone who is only giving you half of themselves? Perhaps how I love is reckless but even when I get hurt, I can walk away knowing I gave everything I had - with no regrets. But then again I'm going on what 13ish failed relationships.. *laughs* so you may want to take my words with a grain of salt.

Just another bump in my journey. A good bump. This has really forced me to put a mirror in front of myself. Now I'm making some serious changes I think would have happened a lot later if I hadn't met him. I'm not sad, I'm just moving towards acceptance that it's over.

Also: A big thank you goes out to all of my friends who just flooded my phone last night with kind words. It is at the darkest time where you realize where the light comes from in your life. Thank you all for being my light.

I'll leave you with a song I've dedicated to my match, my soul mate, my missing piece. We will find each other. I'm sure of it. Until then, stay strong and live your life to the fullest. I'll be there when you least expect it - I'm sure.

Birthday went exactly as I thought it would. Except no one wanted to go out and drink afterwards. But, the sex toy party was amazing. I got tied up and spanked - thank you budda!

I had a dream lastnight that was just woah. Definatly brought to the for front of my mind somethings I've been trying pretty damn hard to push to the back----far in the back....like in the section that's marked "ummm don't even think about it." BUT it was entertaing and funny and sometimes it's just nice to let my brain let lose like that.

Part of it was that I was british and I traveled back in time to a mall that had a time portal in it. I was looking for my daughter(who could transform into a kitten for some reason) who ran away cause I hit her with a belt because she was being bad. While in the mall we were all freaked out cause we were from old timey britian so we had no ide what was going on. I got dressed up in a bitching evening gown, shopped at a JLO pants store, saw Kevin James and fought off some supernatural movie posters brought to life with my superpowers. So all in all your typical weird ass dream.

I decicded every day today I was going to do something fun for myself I've been wanting to do for a while but haven't been able to find anyone to do it with. I'm thinking maybe Boston or something like that. Just a little adventure every day. It's a three day weekend and I feel like I should make the most of it. Even if I will be alone for all of my adventures. Sometimes, that's a good thing.

Friday was amazing. A little awkward at first, as things ususaly are between us until we adjust to one another again. It's odd I think we both have the same reservations about all this and are slightly gaurded at first. But when that wall comes down in moments like we had cuddled together on the couch......there are no words.

As for that moment and what was said....

I've always loved this song. But now I think I know what it really means......

((this is more about the song than the TV show Firefly or the movie Serenity(although they have their part). Ignore that and just listen to the words.))

Sunday was amazing. By far one of the best days I've had in a long time.
I haven't had an adventure in so long - I was way over due. So A and I went to the air show at Peas Airforce base in Portsmouth, NH. It was amazing! It was also great to have A there to tell me all of the awesome stats about the millitary vehicles.
Also - more hot guys in uniform than you could shake a stick at!
Then back to A's appartment to have desert before heading out to Unos for dinner.

Had a long talk with A that's been resonating in my mind ever since. I talked it over with my mom today and I basically came to the realisation that it's time for me to grow up. I get way to hyper about things and it's totally immautre. I can still be just as excited without acting in a way that makes people around me feel weird. There is more to it than that but I don't feel like writing it all down at the moment. I'm a bit sad about having to put that piece of me in a keepsake box but I can always pull it out to smile at every now and again. Truth is if I ever want to have any sort of meaningful adult relationship, it has to stop.

Mom is helping me in the search for appartments! She found one that sounded so perfect except for the fact it was in Merrimack. two bedrooms $900 a month with EVERYTHING included! it would be cheap rent to split - $450. But I just can't make my drive any longer. It would make me INSANE.

Work is going well. I've finally stopped dwelling on what Peter thinks of me and focusing on the *now*.

Not getting a new car. I'm just going to have it fixed. It's good for another 100,000 miles at least. It's a freakin Honda. Hopefully by then I'll either A: have a good enough job where I can just get a new car or B: be in Japan and not really need a car.

Birthday part is a little under 2 weeks away. I'm so excited! I've already started marking off naughty naughty Athena's toys I want. (Esp now since I'm back in the saddle.....or so it seems)

look at what I missed!!!!!
http://bostonnow.com/community/blogs/cheapthrillsboston/08/14/thur-816-inman-square-under-the-stars-movie-comedy-neighborhood-social/
I want to cry cry cry cry cry cry...........